“Stop Performing for Validation, Sis”

Many of us measure our worth by who responds, supports, or stays silent. In this episode, Sharon shares the moment God reminded her that validation began at birth. Through scripture and honest reflection, she unpacks the subtle ways we perform for approval and the freedom that comes when we return to who God already called us to be. If you’ve ever felt overlooked or not enough, this conversation will ground you in truth and shift your focus from applause to obedience.

 And if this episode encouraged you, be sure to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode.
 And join the Step Out, Sis Inner Circle at stepoutsis.com — where we stay connected and grow deeper together. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Step Out Sis, the podcast where we grow healed and walk confidently in God's calling. I am your host, Sharon. Today's episode is personal, it's reflective, and honestly, it's freeing. Because somewhere along the way, many of us learn to measure ourselves by response. Who texts back? Who showed up? And who clapped and who didn't? And without even realizing it, we let people's reaction define us. But recently, God showed me something that shifted everything. I was validated at birth. And so are you. But normal doesn't mean healthy. Some of us have been living off emotional crumbs, waiting for someone to clap, respond, or approve, just to feel like we're enough. And that's where the cycle starts. Let's talk about the mind games for a minute. You know, we create stories in our minds, assign meaning that was never spoken, turn silence into rejection, and delay into disapproval. I had to admit something to myself. I was letting people decide how I felt about myself. And that was a wake-up call for me. Because the truth is, half the battles we fight aren't external, they're internal. They're the stories we tell ourselves, the pressure we put on our own hearts. And God had to interrupt me and say, Daughter, you are exhausted because you're performing for people who were never assigned to validate you. And that's where everything shifted for me. And I realized I was validated at birth. Before anyone clapped for me, before anyone approved of me, before anyone followed me, before anyone affirmed me, Psalms 139 says I was fearfully and wonderfully made. Before I ever performed for anyone, God called me good. Before I ever auditioned for a room, I was chosen before I ever tried to be chosen. And when that truth hit my spirit, something broke, something released, something settled. Because if God validated me at birth, why am I still waiting for people to confirm what heaven already stamped? Here's the truth. People will exhaust you, but God will affirm you without you performing. And when I took people out of the center of this lesson, everything changed. Now when something happens, I don't ask why didn't they show up? Why didn't they respond? Why didn't they support me? I ask, what is it that God is trying to teach me in this moment? That's maturity, that's leadership, that's therapy and theology working together, that's choosing growth over grievance. Because when people are the source, you will always feel empty. But when God is the source, you stay anchored. And let me tell you what I had to start doing. I stopped majoring in negativity, I stepped away from draining energy, and I became aware of the patterns that kept me performing for approval. Because I realized I was giving people too much power over how I felt about myself. And that's dangerous because when you give people that kind of power, your peace becomes dependent on their behavior. Your confidence becomes dependent on their approval, and your identity starts shifting based on who's in the room. Sis, hear me clearly. I am enough whether the room claps or not. I am enough when they follow and when they don't. I am enough because God created me. Obedience is my assignment, not applause. You are validated at birth. Walk like it, live like it, believe like it. Before we close, if you've been listening and if you've been showing up, you're not just a listener anymore. You're family. So go ahead, hit follow on Step Out Sis and make it official. And don't keep this to yourself. Invite another sister into the space because we're not chasing validation anymore. We're walking in who God already called us to be. And there is room for you here. God, thank you for meeting us even in the places where we didn't get it right. Thank you for your grace, your mercy, and your patience with us. For the woman listening right now who feels weighed down by comparison, approval, or silence. Remind her that she is already enough. Remind her that you validated her before the world ever had a chance to. Give her peace where she feels anxious, clarity where she feels confused, and the strength to stop performing for people. Help her to rest in who you've called her to be. We trust you, God, even here, and we declare we are already enough. In Jesus' name, amen. And with that, I will see you next week right here on Step Out Sis.